She's awesome, she just doesn't cook....

No, I am not talking about me,....

OK, so it's Saturday night. I am home, alone. (Not that it's a bad thing... just wanted to let you know that, you know; in case you were wondering.... I figure you care since you are reading this....) Anyways, I just made a killer turkey soup (which is why this post is not about me). I might take me 9 years to eat all of the soup I made since I literally have 5 quarts of it. (Don't be surprised if I freeze it and serve it to you over the holidays. Shut up, it keeps FOREVER. I'm so serious, it's not funny.) Don't ask me why I made so much... Anyone want some?

OK, most of you know that I am totally against blogs - who wants to hear my rants and raves about the universe anyways? I mean really, who the hell am I to go on and on and expect people to read it... do you really want to know what I think? I guess if you are here then you do want to read what I have to say. And if you know me well enough, you know I ALWAYS have something to say. Not that I can promise that I will always have time to type out my adventures for your enjoyment, but for now I am a blogger.... it could change next week for all I know.

So here goes - here's my first EXTREMELY IMPORTANT blog entry:

ATTENTION ALL SINGLE MEN!

(Please, first of all - note that I said MEN - not BOYS. And yes, there is a huge difference. )

I have a good friend, a dear friend; Katie. She is my best friend. She is awesome, she just -- well, she just doesn't cook. (Insert "GASP!" here....) I love Katie so much that there are at least ten awesome things about Katie that I can list off of the top of my head. Here goes - in no particular order....

10. Katie is not like the people who say they are from Boston when they are from really from for example... ummm Holden, MA (which in case you really care, is FORTY miles away from Boston, just north of Worcester) - yeah, people always do that. You are not from Boston if you live in the 413 area code people!! You can still be a New England Patriots Fan though, ok? Fair enough???? Katie wouldn't dare say she was from Boston if she weren't. And yes, she knows the Mayor.

9. Katie is the best thing to come out of Hyde Park since Maura Tierney. Maura just went to nurse to doctor on ER, but Katie is better than that even - she is a 3rd year Law Student.

8. Oh, and by the way - she's got most of those student loans IN HER OWN NAME! I know that sounds shocking, but the girl is financing her own education. That counts for a LOT in my book. And if should in yours, too.

7. Seriously though, Katie is from good stock - her Mom was a lunch lady for goodness sakes!

6. Katie met me in 7th grade. That is 12 years ago. How many of you keep in touch with people from 7th grade? Nevermind can still call them your best friend? Hence, the # 6 great thing about Katie - she's loyal.

5. Katie's a sports fan. Like a REAL one. Not just some girl who says they like baseball. She can tell you where she was when Pedro tossed Don Zimmer tot he ground in 2004. (I can too, since we were together that day). The girl owns multiple Boston Red Sox hats, and one is Pink.

4. Which leads me to the 4th great thing about Katie... she is a girly girl, but not high maintenance. She wears makeup everyday, but isn't afraid to go out with a baseball cap on if she can't wash her hair before breakfast.

3. Katie will come to your defense, but she will also remind you about the things you don't always want to hear. But she does it tactfully and tastefully and only when it is in your best interest.

2. Katie likes to party, but can do so within reason. She likes to drink and have a good time. She isn't one of those girls who only drinks Chardonnay, she will drink beer and enjoy it... She has even been known to suck down a few Keystone Lights.

1. The girl plays grille ball and enjoys it. It's a long story... you'll have to get to know her to find out about that. And that's the point of this list... get to know Katie. She's awesome.... she just doesn't cook.

So, all the men that read so far -- if you want to get in touch with Katie, let me know. She's funny, she's friendly and she'd make a great girlfriend... I just hope you cook. :)

P.S. Katie - For Christmas I extend to you 12 cooking lessons in which I will teach you how to make the following (some of my favorites):

1. Omlettes (they are different from scrambled eggs) and Home Fries.
2. Chicken Parmesan with Pasta and Homemade Tomato Sauce.
3. Stuffed Chicken with Prosciutto, Provolone and Spinach.
4. Macaroni and Cheese (not the kind from the box).
5. Roast Pork Dinner with all the fixings (roasted potatoes, grilled veggies, etc...)
6. Steak Tips marinated in homemade Balsamic Vinagrette dressing.
7. Chicken, Broccoli and Ziti (without canned Alfredo Sauce and frozen broccoli).
8. Cobb Salad (with avacado, and bleu cheese and bacon bits and hard boiled eggs).
9. Jam Thumb Print Cookies
10. Pecan Pie (complete with your own pie crust).
11. Cheesecake (from scratch).
12. Brownies (from scratch).

Katie, you can change the syllabus, but I am teaching you how to cook. Not that you aren't the total package - I mean you do know how to dial for take out. :) (Love you honey!!)

Guys, seriously - Katie shouldn't be single. Wake up!!